Read these few verses when you have a minute.
What do YOU hunger and thirst for? King David, who wrote these psalms, was in a desert place in his life. Like we are at times, too. He went in search of the living water, the living God. He wanted the Lord more than anything else. God's presence was food and water to him.
Have you ever been that thirsty for God? You know the feeling. That empty longing. That deep hunger in your heart for something more-the need to be fulfilled. And you keep looking and searching and longing and you never quite get there.
I know I tried to fill this vacuum with things I thought would work. Music, parties, dancing, Elvis, TV. Shopping, and buying things when I can. Filling the spaces in my house and closets with "things", just "stuff". I would strive for success, and try to please everyone and expect people to please me. I sought satisfaction in all my relationships, and I would drain people dry with all my needs (especially my wonderful husband, and parents, and trying to impress people who I thought were my friends). But none of these things ever really fill that empty place. That's because the empty place was designed by God to be filled with Him only! And we all have that place of longing within us! This great hunger in our hearts and our souls can only be satisfied with the presence of God!
The music, the parties, the TV programs, the shopping, the "stuff", etc., all comes to an end and the emptiness and loneliness are still there. Relationships didn't always turn out the way I thought they would, and there I was - still longing for whatever it was I thought I would gain from it! I still felt empty and lonely!
Eventually everything comes down to just me. Alone. And there is nothing I can grasp on to that is lasting -- except the presence of God. Jesus is the way to the Father. I found that wonderful presence of God in my life when I finally let my guard down and let Jesus into my heart. What a wonderful day that was! It was the beginning of my journey into the heart of God - into His very presence! That was in 1974. Every day it is a new adventure. Some days there is such a desert, such longing and thirst and hunger for God. God wants us to come after Him, to seek Him.
David looked for God. He went after Him. He searched Him out until He found Him. And then he laid his feelings and longings at His feet. Psalm 38:9. David found God because he sought Him - He searched for Him.
The way I draw near to God and seek out His presence is to worship and praise Him. I usually set aside some time every morning to be with HIM. I will often listen to teachings, some praise and worship music, read my scriptures, and just ASK HIM to soak me in His love, His presence, and I just feel Him near. I know He wants to be with me, and I want to be with HIM. The loneliness, the emptiness just are gone, and so is an hour or two of my day, when our time together is over. And then the rest of my day is filled with His presence as I go about my day.
I have not been faithful to my time with God in the mornings for a month or two, but now I'm there again. I felt the emptiness, the anxieties, the world pulling me in, the loneliness, when I wasn't keeping my time of seeking God.
Somewhere in the bible, and I can't remember where, God says "I dwell in the praises of my people", and He does. Praise and worship, song and scripture opens the gates to a more fulfilling life.
Read 1 Chronicles 28:9 in your bible. Have you been able to lay your heart bare before the Lord? Have you been able to reveal all of how you feel to Him? If not, tell Him now. If you have, tell Him again. And then write out a prayer of praise and thanksgiving for His presence in your life. Tell Him all the ways you worship and glorify Him.
25 comments:
Awesome!!
Aunt Lonnie - This is fantastic. I hear and am blessed by this message. I know it is the truth because it is my life written right here!! My relationship with my Lord is the only thing that keeps me truly happy. My life looks the same when I am not walking with Him. But it is not, there is NO happiness in any of the things, places or even people in my life. None. But let me read my Bible, play my music, pray my prayers and read my devotionals each day and ALL things are my joy and happiness! And it is Jesus who made the difference, nobody or nothing or nowhere else. Just my Love in my life every day.
I loved reading this, thank you.
Thanks for sharing this, Mickey. I really do believe we are all created with a "hole" in our deepest being that was created by God and can only be filled with God - a longing, thirsting, and hungering for Him in our lives! Isn't that amazing?
Aunt Lonnie - That is true, your belief about the "God Spot". No kidding. I read it in Discover magazine. That is a SCIENCE magazine. Science and religion, huh? But it is true. There have been studies where the test subjects are wired so their brain activity can be monitored. And then religious icons, spiritual literature and worship music are presented to them. There is a spot in the brain that just lights up, full of activity. The scientists are calling it the God-Spot. And some of them believe that we are purposely created to require a connection to the Almighty in order to fully engage our brain. I fully engage brain is a happy brain. A happy brain is a productive, satified human being. Cool, eh?
This is great Mom. Fill the hole with God. The black abyss gets filled with warm gold light, is how I imagine it. I need to remember to do that every day! And I believe in the God Spot, now that you mention it Mickey. How cool!
posted by Tracy...When I read what you posted Aunt Lonnie, along with the responses, I just started crying! Truly a sad cry. I have always and sometimes still attempt to fill that "hole". I cannot. It creates a deeper hole for me when I do that. I love the concept of "God spot." I love psalms. and, to be honest didn't know alot about psalms until Mom would ask me to read it to her those nights she couldn't sleep. AH! She planned that one didn't she. Do we ever get to a place when we no longer feel the need to feel the hole? I pray. I do. But, I still struggle with the void I feel. Wow, the things I used in an attempt to feel the hole, that void! None of them worked. I do believe that God is always working on me even when I feel like I can't or what's the point. My biggest obstacle is I even talk when I read the daily devotion. I never be quiet! I think I'll try to pray for God to quiet my Mouth.
Oh, Tracy - what a precious, precious child of God you are! I love your comment here. That is what God is doing in your life! He is calling you to Himself. He does that every minute of every day. I think what you should do is just write him letters. Talk to Him. Tell Him everything you yearn for. Just even a minute a day, until you will notice you are doing that more and more. Sometimes you could write the letters, then just sit and be still in His presence. Eventually you could start writing a sentence or two of what you feel, or what you read, or what you hear, or what music you listen to, or whatever. That is exactly what HE wants you to do! He is calling you to that place with Him. He's there, waiting and loving and calling your name.
posted by Tracy..Sometines the relationships with some of my sisters are so strained and I feel a loss of love. It's a lonely place to be. I sometimes feel I can't be honest, because that is not what they want to hear. I would love nothing more then for jesus to wrap His arms around me and let me know I am loved just the way I am. Michelle has a picture of Jesus hugging a girl. She shared it with me. I thank you for your input and knowledge. I fell at such a loss sometimes. Like, I'm just to delete all that has happened in m family and cannot. It hurts real bad. And, most of the time I get the response "I don't want to get involved or I don't want to talk about it." Funny thing is this is how alot of problems were dealt with growing up. It doesn't work. I can't see healthy in this. I need great work and guidance. If I were perfect, I'd work on water.
posted by Tracy..My computer is not typing correctly. alot of type errors in the last post. Hope you can make sense out of it.
posted by Tracy...I would just like to clarify that I was not referring to my Mother when I made the statement growing up I was told i don't want to get invovled or I don't want to talk about this. My Mom never did that with me. Neither did my Dad. They always cared about what I wanted to share about how I felt.
That is the beauty (or curse) of being a person... Our freedom of choice, our own free will. We can choose to be open and honest and willing to discuss things to the best of our ability, or we can choose not to do that. And the key phrase is "the best of our ability." My ability will differ from your ability. It is like faith. Your walk and my walk are different. We are at different stages or levels in our relationship with Jesus. And we relate according to our current knowledge of God. David was "a man after God's own heart," yet he willingly turned his back on the Lord and had and adulterous relationship and had his lover's husband put on the front lines of battle so he would be killed. And over and over he repented and was forgiven. He started ever song with Praise for his beloved Lord. And we like that too. Praise. And how hard is it for us to do that for each other. Elsewhere on this blog of Aunt Lonnies's there is a post about kind words. Maybe the people you want to talk to just are not ready, not in the same place as you are. And maybe there are people that you just have to accept will never talk on a deep level as what you need and want. Read what Aunt Lonnie has suggested to you here regarding writing your journey with God. It is a powerful thing when you do it. I did it when I was first born again. And I wrote letters that started Dear Lord, or Dear God or Heavenly Father... They were like prayers. You will be amazed at what happens. Try it. Stay focused on your growth and do not worry about anothers path to growth. God had a plan for each and every one of us. You may have to find other ways to express your feelings than by talking to the relunctant ones. You have to get yourself well without their help, sorry.
Sorry we hijacked your post, Aunt Lonnie.
I wish that you could tell the truth Tracy, and I wish that you would stop talking about everyone behind their back as you said you do at Christams, "I will be the first one to talk smack about you," you announced--If you would not "talk smack" that would help our family alot. I wish Michelle could be honest about the people she severely hurt while Mom was dying. I am so very tired of the way we play make-believe. Let's get honest, then, if honesty is truly what we want. But, its not--some people just want to pretend that they are someone who they are not. I am alienated because I refuse to be co-dependent. I am alienated because I won't endorse lies. That is truly hurtful. One of Jesus' main teachings was and is COMPASSION. Honesty is the first step in recovery, Tracy. Aunt Lonnie, I just cry out inside for the truth to be told.
Tamara - I do speak the truth. That is one thing that I am well known for. I do not mince words and I do not lie. I did not hurt anyone while Mom was dying. I had a job to do and I did it. And I did it well. You are hurt because you want something that I am not willing nor am I capable of giving it to you. If you are hurt for any other reason, I suggest you check your own baggage before you try to buy some for me. I am not your personal porter! Stop with your pot shots. I do not need it, nor does anyone else. I love Jesus and I serve God.
Dr. Wayne Dyer has a wonderful way of putting it: "Our most serious problems do not have to be solved; they must be outgrown!"
If you want to talk to me about the truth, you have my phone number and we can do that. Otherwise, realize that this is getting really old, really fast.
posted by Tracy....Tamara, it is very disappointing that you would use Aunt Lonnie's post to once again hurt me. It's obvious you are the one who wrote this. Your opinion of me does not matter. In order to speak of what recovery is about you yourself must be in it. I am angry and cannot help but to resspond to this, I advice and beg of you to go seek out the help that both you and your children deserve. I will never speak another word of this,and am sorry to you Aunt Lonnie that your special blog was used for this! I truly am. Tammy I hope one day you can get to a place where you yourself can get honest.
Dear Michelle and Tracy - Don't ever feel you can't voice your feelings on this blog. That's a purpose of it! I love to read your insights and wisdom about things, Michelle. And you, too, Tracy. Actually, these things you are expressing here are the "God hole". And it does give me something to pray for and about. And I do! Pray for me, too - ok?
Tamara - you are so loved. I love you. I've always loved all of you girls. Such very special girls you are to me.
I love your quote, Mickey, about "outgrowing" our past hurts and problems. That is true. I also believe that Jesus heals all those deep hurts, with the help of people He puts in our lives to help us.
"Seek ye first the kingdom of God, ask and ye shall see, knock and the door will be opened to you - allelu, alleluia"! (words of a song we sang a lot at prayer meeting, and a scripture - does anyone know where it is? Mathew, maybe?") Anyway, it's what I'm trying to say here.
God bless all of you.
Mickey - I tried to find that book at Barnes and Noble that you are quoting from about your Mom's death. They didn't have it. I'm going to look online now. It would be a good one for my cousins, who were Aunt Emma's daughters, right now. I love those quotes.
Please keep sharing here. I appreciate it a lot. And I want you all to know I'm here for you, and so is Jesus!
Aunt Lonnie - I have been quoting out of a pamphlet I picked up at the Hospice House Library. It is from a series called Care Notes. The title of the pamphlet is Losing Your Mom by Peggy Heinzmann Ekerdt. I bet if you contacted Hospice and requested a few copies of the pamphlet, you could get them sent to you or pick them up. They are free. There is an 800 number on the back of this pamphlet. Maybe you could call them and have copies sent to you. The number is 800-325-2511. There is also a website www.carenotes.com.
posted by Tracy..Aunt lonnie! Thank you! I will pray for you also! Thank you for not passing judgment on me.
I beleive all that is said here, is healing...not bashing or hurtful. We all just need to know we are loved and loved for who we are. I like how all of you, here, have said that you are seeking God. That truly is the only thing we need to do...Seek ye First...as Mom quoted. I too, have many hurt feelings from the past that I'd like to heal. But people can't do that for us, only God can. We can seek God, and look at ourselves, and move on from there. God's love will 'fill the hole'...we just have to SEEK GOD FIRST. I know for sure, that that is what is saving me today from myself. We are all looking for the same thing...LOVE...and only God can give that LOVE we seek...but we have to SEEK it in order to receive it....Hmmmmm am I making any sense? I am just typing away what comes into my brain...and that doesn't always make sense to anyone but me....I am GRATEFUL we can ALL express ourselves here, in front of family!
Yes, and God IS love! Isn't that awesome!
Here is what i am trying to say...We are ALL dealing with past and present hurts! The only way to get past those yucky thoughts and feelings is to SEEK GOD. Only God can heal wounds. Seek God, not people. God IS LOVE. Any negative thoughts we have are NOT from GOD. Seek God. I only say this becuase it is what I, myself, am experiencing right now. Praise God for HIS wisdom and LOVE.
I am inclined to agree with you, Karen. When we spend our time seeking the Kingdom of God, through Bible reading, prayer and meditation we are focused on all that is good and true. There is little time for misery. And when that misery does creep in, and it will because we are people not gods, it is the grace of God that keeps us. It is His mercy that comforts us. You are right, seek God first.
Thanks for all the comments, everyone. This is what I've been wanting with my blog ever since I started it - input! Thank you!
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